Showing posts with label respect. Show all posts
Showing posts with label respect. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
That Kind of Woman
As Christmas approaches, I've been thinking more and more about commercials like the one above. Not because I believe diamonds are the only way to show love, but because these commercials used to depress the fuck out of me.
I know you're now asking why a string of cheesy, materialistic, over-dramatic ads that help drain the soul of Christmas would affect me so.
For years, I was in a horribly abusive marriage, and one of his most effective tools in controlling me was to strip away any feelings of self-worth. So, when I watched those commercials, all I could think is, "I will never be the kind of woman that inspires a man like that."
It killed me.
Fast forward to now, and all of the steps I've taken to reclaim myself since kicking his sorry ass to the curb, and I realize I've ALWAYS been that kind of woman.
I make the following promises to myself:
1) I promise to never look in the mirror with loathing again.
2) I promise to admire my flaws and know that if someone doesn't find me worthwhile, that's not my problem.
3) Never again will I allow someone else to define how I feel about myself.
4) I promise to never waste time on someone who refuses to love themselves or me.
5) I promise to choose to be happy.
6) I promise to elevate those around me so they too can see their own worth.
7) I promise to never stop believing that I am worth more than all the diamonds in a stupid Kay Jewelers.
8) I promise to let go of the anger and regret as I walk on in my new life.
9) I promise to never sacrifice being myself ever again, because I'm pretty awesome.
What promises will YOU make to show that you are That Kind of Woman (or man)? Leave your promises in the comments so we can all celebrate them.
Every time you see one of those commercials, I want you to remember what you've promised yourself and act on it. You are the only one who can change things for you.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Happiness in Servitude
One of my first questions about an FLR was: What about the man? Can a woman really expect to dominate a man consistently and have him still feel like a man? Is a man seeking this kind of relationship really a true man, or just another man with a sick fetish?
As I entered into the first stages of an FLR with my pet, it became very apparent to me that he was more of a real man than any man I'd ever known. His concern for me and insistence on making everything about me spoke of an achieved maturity and strength that only comes about once in a lifetime--especially in my lifetime. So, there I was trying to reconcile my preconceived notions of males in FLR's with the perfect relationship building between my pet and I.
It wasn't until I began doing research to study what worked for other FLR couples that I noticed an interesting phenomenon. All the males, the slaves, were exceedingly happy. These were men who started their days pleasuring their mates and then working on completing whatever tasks said mates set for them. Coming from a background where my father was the dominant one, I found this all rather odd, but intriguing.
It made me be on the lookout for a great little notebook I could create Pussy Slave To Do lists on. Of course, I'll need to find a matching pen for the complete ensemble first.
Tonight, after beating my slave due to a particularly awful day, it hit me why the sub-males are so happy in FLR's. They know what is expected of them. They are in a relationship structured to remove the guesswork of trying to decipher what a woman is really thinking or wants. There are no weeks, or sometimes years in the case of normal relationship, of subtle hints or games being played. Rules, directives and expectations are all laid out clearly, and males know how to avoid failure. Their energy can instead be spent on getting through their To Do lists (if they have one), offering themselves up as an outlet for aggression or their doms' need for a power trip, or the most important part, worshiping their doms' bodies.
A man's greatest needs are to feel desired, wanted, needed and appreciated. In this instant reward or punishment relationship, my slave knows that he is all of these things to me, including and especially loved. Why? Because I set the boundaries and care enough to hold him to them. He can give me exactly what I need because I tell him what that is. To my pet's absolute credit, he observes and pays attention to the point of anticipating my directives and needs before I am able to verbalize them.
When a person is given the expectations up front and then it is proven those will hold true, you remove a good deal of the fear and dishonesty that destroy relationships. In an FLR, or at least in mine, we find that we feed on one another's honesty. The innate trust built between us, something that happened so quickly it can only be described as destiny, allows for the love that removes all fear.
Unless my pet knows he's going to get beat and that it's going to be really bad. That tends to give him a small twinge of fear, and a large helping of respect for me. Under my control, he is pushed and encouraged to flourish as the amazing man he is, not nagged to death for failing to meet parameters he was never informed of.
Women, if you want your man to not only listen, but also do as you say, look into an FLR. It doesn't mean you have to install chains in your basement and leather straps on every wall surface, just that you are in control. Your number one priority is taking care of your slave, and his number one is to take care of your every want and need; to make you happy.
Tell me that does not sound like heaven.
-Alpha Pussy
As I entered into the first stages of an FLR with my pet, it became very apparent to me that he was more of a real man than any man I'd ever known. His concern for me and insistence on making everything about me spoke of an achieved maturity and strength that only comes about once in a lifetime--especially in my lifetime. So, there I was trying to reconcile my preconceived notions of males in FLR's with the perfect relationship building between my pet and I.
It wasn't until I began doing research to study what worked for other FLR couples that I noticed an interesting phenomenon. All the males, the slaves, were exceedingly happy. These were men who started their days pleasuring their mates and then working on completing whatever tasks said mates set for them. Coming from a background where my father was the dominant one, I found this all rather odd, but intriguing.
It made me be on the lookout for a great little notebook I could create Pussy Slave To Do lists on. Of course, I'll need to find a matching pen for the complete ensemble first.
Tonight, after beating my slave due to a particularly awful day, it hit me why the sub-males are so happy in FLR's. They know what is expected of them. They are in a relationship structured to remove the guesswork of trying to decipher what a woman is really thinking or wants. There are no weeks, or sometimes years in the case of normal relationship, of subtle hints or games being played. Rules, directives and expectations are all laid out clearly, and males know how to avoid failure. Their energy can instead be spent on getting through their To Do lists (if they have one), offering themselves up as an outlet for aggression or their doms' need for a power trip, or the most important part, worshiping their doms' bodies.
A man's greatest needs are to feel desired, wanted, needed and appreciated. In this instant reward or punishment relationship, my slave knows that he is all of these things to me, including and especially loved. Why? Because I set the boundaries and care enough to hold him to them. He can give me exactly what I need because I tell him what that is. To my pet's absolute credit, he observes and pays attention to the point of anticipating my directives and needs before I am able to verbalize them.
When a person is given the expectations up front and then it is proven those will hold true, you remove a good deal of the fear and dishonesty that destroy relationships. In an FLR, or at least in mine, we find that we feed on one another's honesty. The innate trust built between us, something that happened so quickly it can only be described as destiny, allows for the love that removes all fear.
Unless my pet knows he's going to get beat and that it's going to be really bad. That tends to give him a small twinge of fear, and a large helping of respect for me. Under my control, he is pushed and encouraged to flourish as the amazing man he is, not nagged to death for failing to meet parameters he was never informed of.
Women, if you want your man to not only listen, but also do as you say, look into an FLR. It doesn't mean you have to install chains in your basement and leather straps on every wall surface, just that you are in control. Your number one priority is taking care of your slave, and his number one is to take care of your every want and need; to make you happy.
Tell me that does not sound like heaven.
-Alpha Pussy
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