Wednesday, October 19, 2011

That Kind of Woman

As Christmas approaches, I've been thinking more and more about commercials like the one above. Not because I believe diamonds are the only way to show love, but because these commercials used to depress the fuck out of me.

I know you're now asking why a string of cheesy, materialistic, over-dramatic ads that help drain the soul of Christmas would affect me so.

For years, I was in a horribly abusive marriage, and one of his most effective tools in controlling me was to strip away any feelings of self-worth. So, when I watched those commercials, all I could think is, "I will never be the kind of woman that inspires a man like that."

It killed me.

Fast forward to now, and all of the steps I've taken to reclaim myself since kicking his sorry ass to the curb, and I realize I've ALWAYS been that kind of woman.

I make the following promises to myself:

1) I promise to never look in the mirror with loathing again.

2) I promise to admire my flaws and know that if someone doesn't find me worthwhile, that's not my problem.

3) Never again will I allow someone else to define how I feel about myself.

4) I promise to never waste time on someone who refuses to love themselves or me.

5) I promise to choose to be happy.

6) I promise to elevate those around me so they too can see their own worth.

7) I promise to never stop believing that I am worth more than all the diamonds in a stupid Kay Jewelers.

8) I promise to let go of the anger and regret as I walk on in my new life.

9) I promise to never sacrifice being myself ever again, because I'm pretty awesome.

What promises will YOU make to show that you are That Kind of Woman (or man)? Leave your promises in the comments so we can all celebrate them.

Every time you see one of those commercials, I want you to remember what you've promised yourself and act on it. You are the only one who can change things for you.


  1. You baby, are the embodiment of strength all women should aspire to. Women have lost thier way in a sea of misogynistic male oppression. You found your way out and I am thankful that you did. Without hatred or disgust for all men. You are an example of how to climb out to see the light of a new breaking dawn. The reason love found us, is because we were open to it and not in a stranglehold of a bad relationship, or in the darkness of blackened hearts. If only people would see what you have seen and overcome, that one cannot be happy unless they actively choose to be, there would be less miserable souls. I love you, and I am so proud of you. I could not be prouder of anyone and I am happy we found one another.

    P.S. that commercial sucks

  2. Amen!

    Worth is not determined by how others see you. You are an awesome woman! : ) But my saying so doesn't make it true either, you do that all by yourself.

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