Viagra? We don't need no stinkin' Viagra...

I am not a medical professional, no matter how much time I seem to spend around them, so my advice should not be taken as such. That being said, I'd like to take a moment to formally diagnose you with NOT having ED.

That's right. I said YOU do NOT have ED in the sense that a magical pill or a Pos-T-Vac is going to fix everything, although the latter is a source of never ending humor for me. I'm sorry, but when you've turned to Hoover for sexual gratification, you took a wrong turn down the Dirt Devil aisle at the local Wal-Mart.

There are a lot of things that can cause a man to stop being able to function as a man, but when it comes to their dicks not working properly men, the logical gender, freaks out and dissolve into a raging pile of hormones enough to rival a tribe of amazons all on their period at the same time.

First things first, if your dick isn't working like it should with your partner, try a solid week of masturbation. If you can get it up for yourself, then let's look at the problem. It lies within your relationship with your partner. The attraction may not be there anymore. There may be unresolved issues between the two of you preventing you from feeling relaxed and free enough to share a raging hard-on with him/her. Emotional issues are the number one cause of a man's inability to maintain an erection, so you want to start there. Don't let things fester unless you're really looking forward to building cock callouses on your hand.

So, you've aired your grievances with your mate and things are getting better between you or you've decided it's too much and you've moved on. Either way, the next step is to see if you are able to achieve the desired Full Alert Status in a non-monologue setting.

Here's where the Pos-T-Vac will nab you if you don't have a partner who understands oral is the glue holding most relationships together. What am I saying? I'm saying to get down there and SUCK SOME COCK. Use your mouth to create the vacuum pressure needed to get that gorgeous penis hard. Swallow, rinse, repeat.

Problem solved.

For the rare people still affected by ED, consult your doctor to make sure it's not something more serious like diabetes or heart disease.

My point is simple. Instead of grabbing the latest blue pill or penis pump, use your other head to get to the root cause and fix that. You'll save yourself a lot of wear and tear on your insurance card and your ego.

Woman/gay men: Get. On. Your. Knees. And. Suck. Like. A. Champ. Show enthusiasm. Seduction and brutal freedom between partners is what makes love thrive. And when love is thriving, dicks only become limp after being drained by loving lips.

Viagra? We don't need no stinkin' Viagra.

Wanton Slut: The Whore Within

Slut and whore are words that carry negative connotations. Women displaying their sexual natures are discouraged by being labeled with these words. I've myself have been hurt by them in the past, however, they are words that can ring of love and freedom.

So, I'll share a little secret with you on how to achieve fulfillment as a real woman in a committed relationship: BE A WANTON SLUT WITH YOUR LOVER!

Sex is meant to be enjoyable for both parties. If you find that you are just going through the motions and hoping that sex is over soon, then it is time for you to perform an honest evaluation of yourself and your relationship. You are doing a disservice to your partner and, more importantly, yourself. Why give away any moments of your life? Especially mind-blowing orgasm moments.

There's nothing wrong with sharing your deepest fantasies with your partner and acting on them together. In fact, you NEED to. Stop being so uptight about acting like a slut and go for it. Face your preconceived notions about what it means to be a good woman and toss being a good girl out the window.

BE NAUGHTY!
When I was preparing for my trip to go spend a week in a hotel room with my man, I bought quite a few pieces of sexy lingerie. I also purchased a Catholic School Girl outfit, (and a flogger, but that's a topic for a whole other post). And I had fun with that outfit. I was a VERY naughty girl.

Because I was with the love of my life and a man I trust above all others I could let all my inhibitions go and be a fucking whore. I have never felt so sexy and powerful in my entire life.

IT'S OKAY TO BE SELFISH!
So many times we are more concerned with our lover's orgasm that we don't demand our own. About 75% of women have never experienced a vaginal orgasm, so get his mouth down there! If he doesn't know how, there are several instructional books, websites or videos for him to learn from. Or have him ask @Pussy_Whisperer. Keep him between your legs until you are thoroughly satisfied. Speak up and tell him what you like, what turns you on, what makes you come. The more explicit and dirtier word choices you use when telling him, the better.

BE A TEASE!
When was the last time you climbed across the table at breakfast to kiss your lover? Get to know your lover's body. Spend time kissing, licking and nibbling on the places that drive him crazy--then walk away. Make him beg. Reward him when he's good with sexual favors. When you're standing in the pasta aisle at the grocery store, kiss him and grab his cock. Keep him guessing you're going to do next. Unfetter your sexual nature and let it out to play.

PERFORM ORAL!
Now, admittedly I am a bit bias on this one because I LOVE performing oral, however, if you expect oral than you need to give it. I know there are a lot of women who don't like to give blow jobs. Really? What can be more stimulating than being in such full control of a man? Take your time and show some enthusiasm. The more you're into it, the more power you will have over him.

The most important thing is to be yourself without limits. The only limits you should have in your relationship are those defined between you and your partner, not ones that society, religion or your upbringing have placed on you. Seek freedom and always remember to have a safe word.

Slut? Whore? FUCK YEAH I AM!